Worrying about the future and my disability

I’ve recently been trying to come to terms with my disability – chronic pain I’ve had since I was 9.

The only diagnosis that stuck was tension headache, which basically means I’m a stressed person and my face muscles try to reflect that as much as possible.

What really concerns me is my future as an independent adult. I’m struggling to visualize a ‘normal’ future where I’m able to hold down a full-time job, not have to rely on anybody else, and lead an active social life.

Knowing that I’m likely never going to be able to fit in the way I wish I could is heartbreaking.

Even after moving to part-time study, I still feel pessimistic and disappointed with my work rate, and the idea of graduating and being pushed into a world filled with starter jobs in retail, or the food industry that I won’t be able to do because I don’t have enough energy…It all feels really overwhelming.

This is actually part of why I decided to start writing this blog – I wanted to showcase my writing ability to use as a portfolio for later work. Also, I needed a platform to complain about irritating hidden object “adventures“.

I really hope that someday I’ll find a job that can accommodate my needs AND pay a living wage. A girl can dream, right?

***

Are any of you disabled? Do you have any tips? I’ve been following DIYAnnika on Youtube and Instagram and whenever she shares stories about her #spoonielife it makes me feel so much better. Are there any disabled people that you look up to?

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British Pain Society

Action on Pain

Pain concern

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